If I Die Before I Wake
by ASiriuslyGleekyTimeLord
Summary: When Jack Harkness dies, he goes to a place of cold and darkness.  But Jack is a fixed point in time and space.  He isn't like us.  What happens to Ianto Jones when he dies...is another thing entirely...He lives...Summary is kinda suckish.  Please R&R!
1. Prologue

Disclaimer: I don't own Torchwood. If I did…this might very well happen…

A/N: I was reading Torchwood Magazine and this idea just suddenly hit me. I'm telling you, I'm playing around with either a fast ending or being a complete douche bag, and writing a sequel. As we progress, you'll see what I mean. And yes, I know the beginning is confusing, just stick with me, review, and help me out. If I can pull off the vision I have in store, this will be completely worth your time! I promise!

Prologue

_"Don't forget me…"_

_"Never could."_

_"Thousand years time…you won't remember me…"_

_"I will…I promise you, I will…"_

_Ianto looked up at Jack through tear filled eyes as he tried to hold on, tried to say something more, but he just couldn't get the words out. There was no more air left, he couldn't breathe, and everything was going dark around him. His lips parted, but nothing was left and he passed into the void…_

Jolting up in bed, Ianto cried out, clasping a hand over his face as he gasped for breath. A soft whimper escaped him, it had been a horrible nightmare. He expected to feel strong arms come from behind and wrap around him, as Jack often did when Ianto woke up from a nightmare, but nothing happened.

"Jones! Quiet down in there or I'm going to put you in solitary!" a harsh voice shouted and he looked up to find that he was in a cell. Not a cell like beneath the hub where Janet was, but a prison cell. Looking down at himself, his three piece suit had been replaced by a gray one piece.

"What…the hell?" he muttered, taking in the cell, reality sinking in.

"Ianto…don't make him angry, you know Ifan can be rather brutal when he gets mad," a soft voice whispered into his cell. It was a voice the young man thought he would never hear again.

"Toshiko?" he asked, looking around frantically. "Tosh, where are you?"

"I'm next to you…like I always am Ianto," the soft voice said again, and he followed it to a small vent in the wall on the bottom of the wall. "Are you okay?"

"What the hell is going on Tosh? You…you and Owen are dead…and I was with Jack and I died too." He knew he was rambling, but at that point he didn't care. "Where are we?"

"Ianto, the trial is over, you can't plead insanity at this point…although it might delay the execution date…I don't know an Owen, and I have know idea who this Jack is. I only met you when they brought me here."

"Tosh, come on, it's me, Ianto!" he pleaded.

"Jones! I'm warning you, one more sound and you are going to regret it!"

"Ianto, please, just go back to sleep," Toshiko's voice whispered before there was a rustling and he realized she must have been resituating herself on her cot.

"Wanna talk to someone Eye Candy? I'll talk to you."

That voice was coming from the other side of the cell and he saw a similar vent on the opposite wall. Groaning inwardly he walked over and crouched down next to that vent. "What can you tell me Hart?" he asked. "How the bloody hell did they bring Toshiko back? Did they bring Owen back too? And where's Jack? Why can't Tosh remember him or Owen?"

"Eye Candy Jones, I don't know what you're talking about. That pretty little girl over there has been there for quite some time and she never met you before that. Never met myself either, unfortunately for her. As for this Jack, who the hell is he? Have you been holding out on me?"

"John, this is not the time for games. Will someone just tell me what the hell is going on?" Ianto roared and then there was a slam and heavy footsteps in the hall outside the cells. The young man could hear Hart hiss in the cell next to him.

"Now you've done it Ianto…"

"Jones!" that harsh voice roared again and his cell door slammed open. "Looks like I'm going to have to teach you that lights out means LIGHTS OUT!" Looking up, Ianto saw a tall, muscular man towering over him in the entryway to his prison. Before he could react, this "Ifan" as Tosh had called him crossed the cell, pulled Ianto up off the ground, lifted him off his feet and threw him against the opposite wall. Ianto could hear a crack and found it hard to breathe. Seemed as though a rib or two was now broken.

Before Ianto could move up off the ground, Ifan had pinned him down to the floor and was laying blow after blow on his jaw. "You…will…SHUT THE HELL UP WHEN I TELL YOU FROM NOW ON!" Ifan roared, landing a blow for each word. But he didn't just stay up at Ianto's face, he moved down, delivering heavy blows to his chest, to his arms, and one or two well placed ones to his neck. It felt like Ianto couldn't breathe, the pain was so intense.

After what seemed like an eternity, the pressure of Ifan's body lifted off his chest and Ianto lay there, a quivering and bloody mass curled up on the floor. There was the distant sound of another cell door opening. "Sato, get him cleaned up and taken care of. Just make sure he doesn't die."

A few moments of silence ensued before gentle hands were ghosting along his forehead. Ianto couldn't help but flinch away before he was shushed. "It's alright, I won't hurt you," that beautiful voice murmured and he forced his eyes open to look up at Tosh once more. She was smiling down at him sadly, her eyes filled with concern. "Let's get you up on the bed…It's going to hurt…but you know that…"

"Sound like we've been through this tango a few times before," Ianto hissed as she helped him to his feet and sat him down on the cot.

"Only every time you decide to make Ifan your enemy," Tosh murmured as she pulled bandages out of a first aid kit that Ianto's attacker must have supplied her with. "Let's wrap your ribs first, those are probably the worst."

"Tosh," he murmured, lifting a hand to brush hair from her eyes, "what are we doing here?"

"You know that Ianto…please stop this."

"Just tell me Tosh…pretend I have no idea what's going on or anything that happened before I woke up from that nightmare."

He watched as she searched his eyes for a moment, probably trying to find out if he was telling the truth or if he was just toying with her, but finally she sighed and hung her head. "I'm being held here for treason and you are here for being Ianto 'Eye Candy' Jones…the infamous serial killer…Now please, let me finish tending your wounds before we both get some sleep."

"Eye Candy?" he muttered to himself as Toshiko wrapped his chest, him trying to figure this out while she blushed at their proximity.

"Yes…because of the fact that all of the women you murdered were nothing more than…than eye candy according to you," she whispered in the darkened space. "I'm glad I didn't know you back then Ianto…you're such a different man from that person…at least…you are now."

"Tosh…I don't know who that man is, but that's not me," he whispered, his voice practically begging her to believe him.

"I hope that's true," she murmured as she finished. Standing with the first aid kit, she backed out of the cell and handed it to Ifan who had returned, and who then slammed Ianto's cell closed again, engulfing him in darkness.


	2. Chapter 1: Learning the Truth

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Torchwood, but if I did, and you guys liked this story enough, this would sooooo be season five.

**A/N: **Okay guys, I know, you're mad. I know, you all want to kill me right now. I know. But I am trying to make this the best story for all of you that I can. True, that means that updates might be a long time coming, but they'll be long, and they'll be well written. I'm taking this story to my Writers' Club for peer revising on grammar and ideas to draw it out, and to Meatball42 for judging if I'm too out of character or not. This is a long and in depth process, but I'm doing it so that I have a good product to bring to you.

I must say, the amount of feedback I got after the prologue was very encouraging and it makes me want to make this the best story I've ever written that much more. Please, give me constructive criticism, tell me what you want to see in this story, tell me everything you can. Well, I'll shut up now and let you get to the almost 3,000 words in chapter one. I hope you enjoy and please review!

SDWH329

**If I Die Before I Wake**

**Chapter 1 ~ Learning the Truth**

Ianto couldn't sleep. He didn't even know what was going on. Was he in Hell? Was that what this was? He had been in Jack's arms…and then he died…and woke up here, this must be Hell. But then why was Tosh here? Out of everyone in Torchwood, if anyone deserved Heaven, if there was such a thing, it was Toshiko Sato. It didn't make any sense for her to be here.

So, what if this wasn't really Hell. What if he wasn't really dead? But then where was he? An alternate world? That didn't make any sense either, how on earth would he have ended up in an alternate reality when he had been dying in Thames House? His mind raced through the possibilities of what was going on until sunlight crept into the small cell.

Flinching away from the light, he sat up, wincing in pain as his ribs protested emphatically. There were sounds out in the hallway and he heard Tosh's voice through the vent again. "Just stay on your bed Ianto, don't make him any angrier than he already is."

"I'll be fine Tosh," he muttered through his teeth, through the pain. There was a click and then his door opened and there was Ifan with a tray of food.

"So, you made it through the night…that's a bit unfortunate," the guard said as he stepped forward into the cell. Ianto could hear the carefully controlled anger under the surface and knew he'd have to be more careful when dealing with Ifan in the future. "Maybe next time I'll just have Sato leave you to die on the floor."

"That's your choice," Ianto said, meeting the man's gaze. "You're the one in charge."

"That's right Jones, and you'd best remember that next time. I might not go so easy on you the next time you need reminded of that lesson." Ifan smirked as he tossed the tray at Ianto and he had to release his ribs, catch it, and ended up groaning at the pain created from the sudden movement. "Take it easy Jones," the man laughed cruelly as he walked out, closing the door behind him.

Setting the tray down on the floor, Ianto curled up on his side and tried to breathe through the pain. "What the hell did I do to that guy…" he muttered to himself as his body protested at the small amount of movement he had done.

"You murdered his cousin Eye Candy," John's voice floated in his cell, a teasing tone in it. "Probably wasn't the brightest plan you've ever had."

"Guess not," Ianto murmured as he reached down and took a drink from the cup of water that was on the tray. "Is that supposed to be toast?" he asked, looking at the charred bread on a plate.

"Isn't it always?"

A chuckle escaped Ianto's lips as he once more reached for the tray and forced the "toast" down even though he was far from hungry. He had to find some way to keep his strength up if he had any hope of getting out of here to find out what was going on.

There was silence for a while and then Ianto heard the door in John's cell open. "It's time Hart."

"Thought that was today. Then I hoped I had dreamed it. Haven't even gotten to look Eye Candy in the…eyes." Ianto heard the laugh and then Ifan barked out one.

"Is that a last request you bleedin' sod?"

"Guess it is."

There was movement in the hall and then Ianto's door clicked open once again. Standing slowly, he saw John Hart being shoved into his cell and nodded at the man. "I'm guessing they're executing you now?" he asked.

"Got that right Eye Candy. But I wanted to see you at least once before I went."

"What for?" Ianto asked, having a very strong feeling that there was no connection between him and this world's Hart.

"This," the man said and before Ianto could react, John had moved in front of him and crushing his lips against Ianto's. The young Welshman couldn't believe what was happening and before he knew it, Hart had pulled away and was grinning as he turned back towards the door.

"What was that for?" Ianto asked, voice shocked and eyes wide, as the door closed behind Hart.

"I admire your work!" Hart called as he walked down the hall to his date with the firing squad.

Ianto, knowing the type of person that Hart was in his world, and knowing what it must mean for the man to admire the work of this world's Ianto, felt a shiver run down his spine as he sat down on the cot dumbly, staring into space. He needed to find out what was going on and he needed to do it soon.

He sat in silence for quite a while before he walked over to Toshiko's cell's vent and slid down the wall beside it. "Tosh…do you know where Jack Harkness is?"

"Who?" her voice whispered.

"Jack…Harkness," he repeated, slower this time, feeling the bottom fall out of his stomach.

"No…is that the man you were talking about before? Is he an attorney? Why do you ask?"

Ianto sighed helplessly. "No reason…Just someone I heard Ifan mention a few weeks ago," he lied, not wanting to upset her. "Just wanted to know if you knew who that was."

"No, I'm sorry."

"It's fine."

Ianto grew silent after that, but Toshiko chatted quietly through the vent at him, and every once in a while he would answer a question or make a comment, but other than that he was quiet. He needed to find a way out of here fast, before it was time for his execution. "Remind me again Tosh…how many days until they take me?"

"Can't be sure. You know how it is Ianto, whenever they get bored they'll take another one of us…John was lucky he was able to avoid it for as long as he was. It could be days…could be years. I just wish they would hurry and get it done with for me." Her voice was bitter and the young man couldn't help but remember something he had read in Tosh's file when he was working down in the archives one day.

_Toshiko Sato, under the jurisdiction of Captain Jack Harkness, is on release from detainment in UNIT facility 2389. Was charged for treason against Queen and country and sentenced to life imprisonment with no hope for parole. Was given into the custody of Captain Jack Harkness on 7 October 2005…_

The file had gone on after that, but Ianto hadn't bothered to read anymore. All it had told him was that he and Tosh had been in somewhat the same boat. Had UNIT known of the fact that he had been hiding his half converted cyber-girlfriend in the basement of England's greatest secret organization for over a year, they would have considered him a traitor as well, only he would have been executed. And now he was, maybe this was purgatory. Maybe this was supposed to be penance for allowing Lisa to kill the people she had. Half the operatives in Torchwood would probably end up in purgatory, it wasn't like they were saints.

"Is there any chance to get out?" he asked.

"None. John tried several times, it always surprised me, you know, that they didn't execute him then and there. They probably figured that so long as someone was there to catch him the next time he tried, each attempt would be humorous in its own way. John should have kept trying to get out of this place…maybe he would have stayed alive longer…"

At that moment they could hear a shout from somewhere down the hall. "See you in Hell you bastards!" When a loud shot rang out a moment later, silencing him, Ianto heard Tosh gasp from next door. After that there was nothing. Both of them sat there in the silence that accompanied John Hart into death.

Lunch came and went, Tosh having refused to talk after Hart's death and Ianto didn't push her on it. He just laid back on his cot and stared at the ceiling, trying to figure out what he was going to do. Obviously, Jack had never come to get Tosh out of here, which meant either he wasn't able to, or he wasn't here. That meant that Ianto was completely on his own. But why would he just leave her to die here? Surely her crime here had not been any worse than in their own world? Or was it that Jack was incapacitated and couldn't come? He was from the future after all, what if it was that he had never met up with the Doctor and had never come back to this time? Maybe he wasn't immortal here and had died long ago…or far in the future, as the case may be. Ianto's head was spinning and he was actually beginning to panic.

"Am I supposed to get a second chance at life just to die again here with no chance of changing anything?" he muttered to himself. What had happened to the days when life at Torchwood had been fairly simple? He would make coffee and fight aliens every once in a while. He filed paperwork, wrote reports, and locked himself away in the archives day after day. And he couldn't forget Myfanwy. He wondered what had happened to her when the bomb in Jack's stomach destroyed the hub. And Gray. Jack had never come out and told him that he was keeping his brother stored in the cryobed in the medical bay, but it hadn't been hard to figure out. Jack, after all the people he had lost in his life would never have been able to kill his younger brother, no matter what he had done. The question remained if Gray had survived or had been killed in the explosion. "Jack, what am I supposed to do?" he asked. He couldn't help but half expect that his lover would answer, but when only silence answered him he threw his arm over his eyes and tried to figure out his options.

Days passed and Ianto found out as much as he could about this world he was in now, but Tosh had been locked away with him, or the version of him that existed here, and she wasn't exactly up to date on current events. She did tell him that she was here because she had been trying to save her mother from a painful death at the hands of men who wanted to get their hands on alien technology, to do what with, she wasn't exactly sure, but she knew that it couldn't have been good. Ianto felt badly for her, but understood. UNIT wouldn't care what the situation was, they would only see that she had committed the crime and condemn her on those merits, not that she had done it to save her mother. He tried to reassure her as much as he could, but it wasn't easy when they were both waiting in line to be executed for what they had done.

It was about two weeks after Ianto had woken up in t his world, when he and Tosh were talking, she shushed him, and they both listened to the footsteps coming down the hallway. While he couldn't be sure of what time it was exactly he knew that it wasn't time for their evening meal yet. As they listened a door opened…Tosh's door. "Ifan, what can I do for you?" Ianto heard Tosh ask from the other side of the vent.

"You know Sato, it gets very lonely down here during the day."

"Yes Ifan. You've told me this before."

"Let's fix that problem, shall we?"

"Please Ifan…don't do this…" Tosh begged, and Ianto heard her voice shaking. Something in him started to burn with fury.

"No Sato, I think this will be perfect."

Listening carefully, Ianto heard someone lunge and Tosh cried out and he could hear scrambling, assuming that it was his friend trying to get away from this man. "Please! Ifan stop!" she screamed.

"Stop!" Ianto shouted, anger and desperation lacing his voice, as he pounded at the wall. Flashes were racing through his head: Tosh lying in the med bay, half propped up against the exam bed, a growing spot of red on her shirt; the scent of blood heavy in the air; the glazed look in her eyes when she died; the dead feeling inside of him as he realized that another part of him died with her…

It all came rushing back at him. He was only able to stand by and watch as Tosh faded in Jack's arms and then, she was gone, just like that. It wasn't a huge deal she just…stopped moving. There was nothing more involved, and yet there was. Her heart stopped beating, stopped pumping blood and oxygen through her body. The neurons in her brain stopped firing and all function stopped. Her lungs stopped taking in air, her ears stopped hearing, everything was gone.

A zipper being jerked down brought him back to the present and he roared as Tosh screamed. "YOU'RE DEAD IFAN!" he shouted, feeling a vein in his head pulsing as he slammed his fist into the wall between the cells. "IF YOU TOUCH HER, I'LL KILL YOU!"

There was a harsh bark of laughter and then he heard someone hit the wall next door followed by a whimper of pain. "TOSH!" He had to save her, he had to get to her and protect her. He couldn't let her die again, not this time, not when he could save her.

His door opened and there was Ifan, pulling the zipper up on his pants. "Threatening a guard Jones? You did it this time. Not even Hart was that stupid, he knew it meant immediate execution."

The blood that had been pumping through Ianto's veins turned to ice and he felt the crystals piercing his veins. "What?" he asked.

"Don't act stupid," Ifan replied, grinning widely as he reached for his radio. "Jones has made a threat against me. He's too dangerous to be kept here. Requesting backup and transfer to the Chamber."

It was then that Ianto realized something. "You were never going to hurt Tosh, were you?" he asked, voice a whisper.

"And dirty myself? No, just needed to get a reaction out of you."

Ianto stood there, completely dumbfounded and could only watch as six more guards came in, flanking Ifan. "Looks like time's up Jones."

"Ianto?" Tosh called, her voice desperate. "Ianto I'm sorry! I thought…I thought he was going to…"

"I did too. It's alright Tosh, it's really okay," Ianto said, not trying to pull away when he was grabbed on either side and part dragged, part shoved out of the cell. The guards were aggressive as they walked down the hallway, shoving him, tripping him and such. He knew he was a prick in wherever this was, but they were going to kill him anyway, what did they think this would solve?

"You know Jones, I was just messing around with her…this time," Ifan said, grinning as he walked along side the group of guards. Ianto tried to break free and throttle the man, but the guards held tight to him, all of them snickering.

After what seemed like an eternity he was shoved into a room. It was a plain room, not much different from his cell, except there was no cot here, and the stench of death lingered. And when Ianto's eyes lit on the far wall, he saw blood splatters covering it and he wondered which ones had been made when Hart's body fell to the ground. His heart was racing as he slowly realized that this was the end of everything; he had never had a chance.

The guards didn't give him much time to think before he was being shoved over against the wall as they stood in a line against the door, raising their guns. "Well Jones, say hi to Hart for me," Ifan said as he smirked, pulling back hammer on his gun. The others raised their guns as well and Ianto stared them down.

Ifan seemed to reconsider for a moment, tilting his head to the side, gun still raised before he stepped forward and delivered a nasty kick to Ianto's gut, sending him doubling over, struggling to stay on his feet. All the air had been forced from his lungs and he was coughing to try and recover it. He felt rather than saw Ifan shove him from behind and there was a gun pressed against his forehead. Looking up, Ianto met the eyes of his executioner. But he also caught the glint of metal coming from the barrel of the gun and his eyes widened.

He knew that metal. He knew that glint, and he knew that gun. What was even more ironic was that he had been in this position once before. That was a Webley, but not just any Webley, it was Jack's Webley. He couldn't help but close his eyes in defeat, and yet a morbid grin twitched at his lips from the sheer irony of the situation as he waited for the bullet to slam into his head. "This is for Lisa you bastard." Lisa was his cousin, fan-bloody-tastic.

In the final moments kneeling there, the only thing Ianto was thankful for was that he didn't have to watch Tosh die a second time while he waited by helplessly.

There was a loud sound, searing heat…and darkness.


End file.
